Rambling...

I have been writing more drawn-out posts lately. It's late and I can't sleep.... so here are some random things on my mind:

It snowed again today... about 5-8 inches. It shut down the whole city. It's soooo beautiful and I feel like I'm somewhere in Europe not in the desert. I will post pictures soon.

Today is the king's birthday (the king of Jordan). It's kinda cool living in a place that, on the news says, "today in the Kingdom of Jordan....". It's like a fairy tale land. Everyone loves the king here too which is amusing.

I love making lists. It's one of my favorite things. Now, I don't necessarily keep up with where the list is (it's usually somewhere in the abyss of my purse or left on my writing table)....but the process of making the list is entirely satisfying and I make them daily.

I also enjoy gardening very much. I re-planted my window boxes this week and it was the funnest, most relaxing thing. I've always liked plants and gardens but I didn't realize how much of a "thing" for me it is. The flower-boxes look great, by the way. Although I had to bring them in on a-counta the snow.

I go to my neighbor's house a few times a week to have tea (a very 'Arab' cultural/traditional thing). Tonight I was at "Auntie" Nuha's house (she's in her 60's??) and as we sat there chatting, watching the nightly news, sipping our hot tea, I realized just how difficult it will be to leave her in a few months. It makes my heart tighten to think of. About three years ago, in anticipation to my move here, I began to pray for someone exactly like her to care for me and to befriend. She is an exact answer to my prayers and every time I see her I feel like I have a little secret between me and God... like a special present He gave just to me. I don't want to leave her.

I found a new recipe for cinnamon rolls today. If anyone is looking for a recipe let me know.

And..... I think that's it. Now you've got just some random, lighthearted rambling. (lighthearted except for the part where I talked about leaving Auntie Nuha). Tomorrow will be another snowy day....and I can't WAIT! Drinking coffee, eating sweet rolls, watching the snow... yesssss!

Ya'll have a wonderful week....

How 'bout this weather!?

Well, folks, we've had some snow here in Amman this week. I hear my friends and family in Birmingham, Alabama also had a snow day this past week! How fun! I woke up in the middle of the night hearing dripping outside. I assumed it was rain but when I woke up these big, beautiful snowflakes were falling. It continued on and off all day! In my area of town, the snow had all melted by the end of the day but in the higher elevation parts of Amman, it remained much longer.

In other news, my house has not gotten higher than 51 degrees inside. I honestly think it may be warmer outside than inside here. I don't know what else to do to warm it up.... it just will not. I guess I will have to find more layers. I usually have on about 5 layers on the top, two layers on the bottom, two pairs of socks and a scarf... I did draw the line at gloves. I do not wear gloves inside the house. I have a heating pad on my bed (size of a twin bed so it's a little small but better than nothing) that is amazing. I joked with a friend that if anyone is looking for me between now and the end of winter I'll be in my room in my bed with the electric blanket! Nice that I work from home many days so I can stay tucked in as I work on my computer.

I've had a couple of frustrating days this week... my gas heater has not been working and my gas oven has also not been working. I was so frustrated tonight that I almost cried. I can't cook if the oven's not working and there's no hope of warming my toes if my heater is down. It isn't the fact that they're not working that got me upset... lots of things around here don't work at least part of the time. It's the fact that I can't fix it. I don't mind calling friends to help.... they would have been more than happy to do so. I just wish I could have done it and I know if I lived in the States it would have been easier to fix. I really hope to get this resolved tomorrow. I'm having guests over for dinner on Friday so I should at least get it taken care of by then!

Anyway, enough complaining about things that don't work in my house. (but can I mention that my washer is also refusing to use it's spin cycle again? yeah. that's been lovely too). Sorry for complaining. I'll stop now. It really has been a good week in most other ways and I'm thankful for the good moments like some great visits with my neighbor, encouraging time praying and talking with two of my girl-friends here, snow, and some productive meetings I've had!

in the fire

For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that his all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard-pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair, persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.....
II Corinthians 4:6-10

This is one of... one of... my favorite passages. It is so honest about the struggles and suffering we will walk through in life and yet it is also so full of hope and purpose.

He makes His light shine through us, penetrating the darkness. And though we may be hard pressed, crushed, perplexed, persecuted.... though we may find ourselves overwhelmed by life, disappointed by broken dreams, confused about which way to turn.... we cling to hope because His life in us redeems all of our pain... Redeems for His glory.

I found out tonight that a friend and co-worker suddenly died today. He was on the way back to the country in which he works when he passed away. Details of what happened exactly are becoming known to us slowly. And I don't really know what to write next. He wasn't an extremely close friend but I worked with him last month and was supposed to be helping him with a project. .....perplexed but not in despair.....

Last month I found out that my sweet friend from college also died suddenly. He was about my age... (maybe 30?) and died unexpectedly from a heart condition. I didn't get a chance to tell him that I loved him; didn't make a chance to tell him that God loved him. And I'm so ashamed of myself for not being bolder and giving more of myself.... because now, for Jeremy, it's too late. I always feel torn in so many directions with my life and ministry here. There are so many people- millions, in fact- who need the message I bring. It is quite exhausting- physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I confess- I often feel frustrated that I don't have time to meet my own needs for rest; for being taken care of and not do the care-taking..... but in times like these I wish I had given more of myself and more of my time, taken more risks and been more bold. When it's all said and done, I doubt I will regret not taking more time for myself like I regret not taking the time for Jeremy...... hard pressed on every side, but not crushed......


At Christmas time, I was traveling to spend some time with my family for the holidays. I had arrived at the Israeli border looking forward to the afternoon ahead cooking Christmas dinner, sneaking away to wrap presents, and loudly singing Christmas carols around the house with my mom and dad. I longed to hold my new niece, who would be there, along with her parents, for a short visit. I was rudely snatched out of my warm day-dream by a border-patrol officer angrily yelling at me refusing my entrance into the country. I was escorted out of the building like a criminal and forced to wait outside in the cold and rain for a total of 8 hours, not allowed to speak to anyone, not allowed to ask questions. The week that followed consisted of, among other things, waiting in one government office after an other- unpleasant officials throwing annoyed, snide looks in my direction before deciding to totally ignore me. I felt so hurt and disappointed. And it was in these darkest moments that I was urged to desperately cling to the hope that through these disillusioning experiences His light in me would redeem my struggles....... persecuted, but not abandoned......

Another favorite- Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:12-14

I share these things in an effort to offer some encouragement... to press on, cling to hope- even if you're only holding on to it by the tips of your fingernails-, look with excitement towards what is ahead whatever it may be, because He is worthy and because God is good, all the time; all the time, God is good

Be blessed. Be encouraged.